Sweet Frienships in a Sour World

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Isaiah 61:7
Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs.


Over the past ten months, I’ve learned a lot about friendships. The foundation of my friendships now, is entirely different from what I once knew.

Night after night, bar after bar, party after party, drink after drink, hangover after hangover. I became disillusioned. Bored. There HAD to be more to life. Searching the town for the next hot band to listen to while drinking myself to oblivion got old…fast. And expensive. I was going through money like crazy. Drinks, taxicabs, new outfits to go out in, cover charges. I saw my life spiraling out of control like never before. The only thing I had to look forward to was numbness.

Tara…. you’re SMARTER then this. You were raised better then this. But hey, it was all I had. They were my friends.
Right?

When I look back, I see God’s hand of protection over me HUGELY, even while living this lifestyle so displeasing to Him. God…why did you do that for me?? I didn't deserve it.
I guess this was all part of the Plan. Part of my soon-to-be testimony.

I found myself getting so bored, that I would get trashed with the sole intent to make the time pass by quickly. I didn’t want to be sitting there anymore. There’s WAY too much stuff out there to do. How about traveling? How about hiking? How about seeing the beauty of nature? Let’s go on a road trip. Let’s go have a picnic at Thatcher Park. Let’s go shopping for a day at the outlets.
Nope. None of that involved alcohol, no one would be down for any of it.

Finally, I recall the LAST time I sat at a bar. It was a band that we saw regularly, weekly actually. I used to love them. That night, I decided, I was NOT going to drink. Not that night. Not anymore. There HAD to be more to life then this. Sitting there sober was weird. Nothing was funny, although everyone around me was laughing. The music I once enjoyed so much, sucked. I recall texting Freddie the entire time for amusement. I left early that night. That was my last night out with them.

God placed a calling on my life. And for the first time in 26 years, I answered.
It was HARD. It was painful. The tears were plentiful. I was on my face more then I can tell you.

Out of obedience, I not only just abruptly stopped hanging out with them, but I cut ALL contact with them. The hardest part of all of it, was one of them, was my brother. It hurt SO badly. It hurt even more, knowing that I was hurting them, and they couldn’t understand why. It would make no sense to them whatsoever, no point in trying to explain.

Out of it all, I have learned that God will place you through a season of loneliness in order to get you to the place where He wants you, and to bring the right friendships into your life. But did it have to hurt THIS bad? I couldn’t even come home after work. I would drive around for long periods of time because at least being on the road, I knew I was surrounded by people and I wasn’t alone.

Through this all, God placed one, extremely special person in my life that I will be forever grateful for. Her name is Angela and I had met her a few years back. Our only contact up until that point was sporadic emails. She was the only Christian I knew at the time. Up until then, I refused to be friends with Christians because they seemed so fake, so judgmental, so perfect, so…everything I wasn’t, or ever willing to be.

But she was different. She discipled me, she helped me to grow. She explained to me everything that was going on. I had no idea what God was doing. I had no idea that God would allow pain, but only for a greater purpose and only out of love. She was there for me more then I can ever thank her for. These words aren’t even enough, girl you will NEVER know.

I had clung to words that I had heard on a Joyce Meyer CD, about God repaying you double for all of your trouble. Even though I didn’t fully understand it, or know what the outcome would be, I pressed-in, and didn’t look back. I don’t even think I knew why I was doing all of this, but I just knew I couldn’t look back, I couldn’t go back. I didn't WANT to go back.

Now, ten months later. I am SO unbelievably blessed with AMAZING friendships. I have more friends now then I ever had at one given point in any time in my life. My weekends are always packed full and usually ends up with me having to chose between options. Even better? I’m STILL meeting new people continually. God is AMAZING. I’m not saying any of that bragging…because that’s ALL God and He gets all the glory.

The point of this story? I’m mostly telling ya’ll how awesome God is and just sharing a very SMALL part of my testimony. Also giving props to my friends, who have been there, who have helped me grow, who have prayed with me, prayed for me, challenged me, and have helped me get to the point where I am now. These are TRUE friendships, friendships like I’ve never known before, set on a solid foundation.

Experiencing a season of loneliness? God calling you to do something huge that you just don’t think you can do on your own? I promise you He will not leave you alone. He will not give you more then you can handle at once. He will deliver you out of the fiery furnace, and you will not even smell like smoke. Just when you think the pain cannot get anymore intense, when you feel you can’t possibly have any tears left, continue standing in the rain. Press in, pray, continue following in obedience…..and in God’s perfect timing, you will see a breakthrough.

I’m living proof.