Wait On Me

My Princess…
WAIT ON ME

Wait on Me, My princess. My timing is always perfect. I know you’re anxious about many things, and I see your passion for all the plans I have put in your heart. I know that you long to fly, and I see your enthusiasm. However, just as a vinedresser nurtures the vine and waits patiently for the right moment to harvest the grapes, so too am I working tirelessly to prepare you to bear much fruit. Don’t run ahead of Me or try to fly before My plans are complete. Your strength will fail you, and your dreams will wither away. Trust me that My dreams for you are far greater then you can dream on your own. You will run farther and soar higher if you will patiently wait for the season of My blessing. Draw close to Me now, and I promise that this season of waiting will bring you the sweetest of rewards.

Love,
Your King and Lord of perfect timings


BUT THOSE WHO WAIT ON THE LORD WILL FIND NEW STRENGTH. THEY WILL FLY HIGH ON WINGS LIKE EAGLES. THEY WILL RUN AND NOT GROW WEARY. THEY WILL WALK AND NOT FAINT.
ISAIAH 40:31


I got this letter from my niece's book this past Sunday, Love letters from Your King. Out of the many letters that I read, this is one that really spoke to me.

It's about timing, and waiting on Him. It seems I'm off every one's timing lately. Poor timing.
And isn't it SO like me, to be so headstrong, so driven, so strong willed, that I just don't stop, even when told to do so? Instead of taking heed, nope....Tara goes full speed ahead, head first!! LOL There's nothing that will stop me......even people TELLING flat out. I'm always ten miles ahead of everyone, including God. I'm learning....I'm getting there...

Sometimes when I think that this quality about myself is a strength ....I am quickly made to realize that in fact, it may be my biggest weakness. (read my Relentless posting and you'll get an idea of what I'm talking about)

I wonder if God just laughs at me sometimes, sitting up there watching me fight and fight and fight.....just waiting for me to exhaust myself...waiting for me, watching me walk into one wall after another and still not giving up...waiting for me to stop trying on my own...waiting for me to give it to Him, totally, completely, full surrender.

I don't want God waiting for me anymore. I need to wait on Him. I've got it all backwards.

So here I am, trying to take 50 steps backwards.....and it's hard, and it hurts, and I'm tired. Things don't make sense, and I'm trying to walk by faith and not by sight. But my faith wavers. I feel about as inconsistent as the Northeast weather patterns lately. But I do know, that I'm done trying, there's absolutely nothing I can do, and I've known that. Doesn't make it easier, but I know that and I believe that half of the battle is knowing, seeing, and accepting the truth.

I think if I wasn't so 'all or nothing' about everything..I wouldn't be here in the first place. It's my theory on everything. And I hate it. It makes my life incredibly difficult. I've always been that way with friendships, relationships, with EVERYTHING. It's something I've been praying for lately for God to change in me, because I know I'm supposed to have a balance. 'All or nothing' is NOT healthy. I don't want to be this way, I HATE IT!

Well now for the first time, I'm faced with a situation, where due to circumstances, 'all' isn't possible, and I don't want 'nothing'. In fact, the thought of 'nothing' makes me cry. 'Nothing' is the absolute last thing that I want. So I need to get myself to that in between stage. The hard part is though, I don't know how, I've never done this, but I'm trying. I'm doing all I can, all I know how. It's so easy for me to just shut people out, entirely. It's what I'm used to doing, it's all I've ever done in the past. But I don't want to do this in this situation.

I hate waiting, patience has never been a strength of mine. Everything I do is fast. I talk fast. I eat fast. I drive fast. I want fast results. You get the point. But God's timing is not mine. So, I'm being obedient, I'm doing what I have to do not only to please Him, but to get myself to a 'happy medium'. My fear of God is much greater then my biggest current fear: losing someone completely, for good. I am trying to realize that's out of my control, I can't do anything about that if that happens. The thought of it crushes me, but again....nothing I can do.

But meanwhile, God....could it be a little easier? Could I at least get some answers so I'm not sitting here in complete and total confusion, misunderstanding, and wondering? Again, here's the waiting theme. I may never know any answers. I just have to be content in knowing the One Who Knows, and trust that in HIS timing everything will be pulled together perfectly. More perfectly then I could ever do on my own.


Freddie, you might as well leave your comment for me. :) I'm convinced that out of the 200+ times this has been viewed....you and I account for about....well......let's just take the number and subtract it by like 5. Because I know of at least 5 instances that other people have been here. hahaha The rest is us. We're awesome.